Be Mine, Ed.
June 17, 2009 2 Comments
Taking a sidetrip from campaign and class…
I have dreaming of falling madly in love again (who doesn’t, eh?) with someone who is simple and frugal. With the life journey I am about to embark on, I desperately need a person who can be my rock; someone who will understand the ups and downs of public life, and most especially, someone who will be there beside me through the best and worst days of my life, whether in or out of politics.
Thank God, Starbuck’s gave me the answer.
It was not one of the coffee choices they offer, nor the juices or pastries. All those give me a certain feeling of relief. But this cute barista named “Ed” captured my heart, with his smile like a fish net and my heart like a succumbant cod in the deep of sea.The feeling was something I felt only a few times in my life; the feeling of an inner smile that exudes to your mouth, thus, making it [mouth] smile as well.
‘Twas a random day when my BM [Bi-Manila] friends and me decided to hangout at Starbucks Retiro. Being immersed in a deep depression due to the loss of my last relationship, I never really tried doing anything else than focus on my campaign. As a result thereof, I became a robot; an emotionless creature designed only to do a primal objective which, may or may not, make me happy or bring gratification. At this time, I knew inside that I may be a few inches away from self-destruction.
But that random day would prove to be everything but random nor ordinary. With my cane, I struggle to gain decent footing as I approach the counter. There, delightful and interesting pastries and drink offerings were festooned. But what captured my eyes was the very sincere smile of a cute, Chinese-looking barista. His eyes smiled, together with his lips, and asked for my order.
And the rest, as it is clicheically said, is history.
His name was Ed. It’s a short name. It may not even be his real name (knowing SB tradition of interchanging names). But no matter what his name is, it doesn’t matter; for the language of the heart knows no real names or pseudonyms; they know no bounds or limits. In time I know I’ll have his real name.
For the past few days, amid my mom’s fiery remarks about my late crash time here at home, I feel elated; sublimely happy, in fact, that no form of adversity can ruin my day. And this I boldly attribute to Ed’s coming in my life. For a few hours and a couple of drinks everyday, I feel light; I feel happy. And the emotions are back – which is good. At least now I re-learned how to smile again; how to be happy again.
The sad facts…
He may not like me. Of course, there is 9 out of 8 chance that he does not like me. But who cares? After all, seeing him does not necessitate his liking of me; in fact, it only costs an iced tea or a bagel daily (Laughs). But in time I know it will deeply cut a wound in my life should he not like me. But I think I’m prepared for that. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, as they say. Another sad is that he may be taken (it’s sadder to know that he’s taken than knowing that he’s straight). If he’s taken, no more bump or lump in his heart for me. And lastly, assuming his hobo and single, Im not hot enough to be liked by a guy like him. Well perhaps I just did not win the aesthetic lottery. Crap!
The 1st day I saw him I knew that he would be the type I’d like to marry, or spend a big chunk of my lifetime with. He looks and is very warm and kind. And I think he’s got what it takes to keep up with the worst job in life; keeping me happy. I think that, strategically, he’ll be an asset too. My town would love to have a councilor’s husband who would be nice and warm and who will become the listener to their problems. I want him to be their rock just as he is mine. But the future is so far away.
That’s all for now…
Peace. Be mine, Ed.