April 1, 2008 Leave a comment
(I dedicate this blog to Ney Villasenor. I passed, perhaps higher than your scores combined.)
After checking my grades online, I passed all my subjects. This s a development since I have spent several sleepless evenings thinking if I will make it. Fortunately, with the Lord’s help and providence, I passed. Nothing can be sweeter than passing.
But my passing is a blessing and a curse. Blessing because my academic probation has been served and is done; a curse because all cases filed against me shall go on. But now that the burden of grades are just memories, I can concentrate on them and work on my arguments well. I just pray that I get through these hurdles with my dignity intact.
This semester was perhaps the most difficult semester of my life, since this is the semester when there are cases filed against me that I have to tackle side by side with my studies. It was never easy. I may seem strong, but all semester long I spent my evenings alone crying, drawing my strength from God, my family, and a few select friends. Nothing was easy; at a certain point I lost my self-esteem, I had to skip classes to file responses to my cases, had to confront all negative attacks against me, and to deal with some CFAD professors whose faces are molten plastic and whose consciences are as dark as the evenings.
But nonetheless, because of my persistence to pass, I never allowed those cases to affect my classes. I studied hard, tried my best, and gave it my all. I always prayed to God for love and strength to face a brand new day (which is usually filled with cases). But I made it.
It’s not time to confront what lies ahead, and try to envision what lies beyond. I have a hearing tomorrow. I hope I make it through the second checkpoint.