December 14, 2007 2 Comments
Sadness. A truly inexplicable state of self; a feeling that zaps every single parcel of happiness inside and leaves with you nothing but tears darkened further by loneliness. It is a feeling that renews your vision of life and how it goes; it makes you view life as an unfair judge created to sow unto us the feeling of uselessness, unhappiness, and worthlessness.
People deal with sadness in different ways – some choose to face it, while others busy themselves with finding excuses to run away from it. But no matter how brave we face it, or how far we run away from it, sadness damns our life and it can only be removed by time or healed by a circumstance.
I don’t want to appear speaking profoundly here, but I came to a realization that sadness is something fluid; it only follows the contour of its bearer; and like energy, it only transfers.
As I was on my way to getting over the person (yes, who treated me less than shit and more of an amoeba), I was confronted by a new form of sadness. Then, I felt sad because of all the people in the world, I can’t make him love me. Now, I am sad because I am a big wreck far from reparable. To add to this, I am sad because I am alone.
But I chose to deal with sadness head on; I tried my best to uplift myself, but to no avail. I tried making myself happy but to no avail.
But true to my theory, time healed my sadness, even for a few seconds, only to be replaced by a new reason to be sad; the fear of being alone – supplemented by another reason to be sad: liking another person of which my chance of being hit by lightning is higher than us being together.
This leads me to more questions: Is it just me? Or is this a grand scheme?
I answered myself: This is perhaps God’s way of making sure that we continue improving ourselves. As we get over one reason to be sad, we are provided with a new one to rewire ourselves and make ourselves better people. Sadness is indispensable, just as breathing is to an alive person.
Perhaps it’s just normal to be sad. :-C